Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Ten things I hate about me

The Countess posted this a while back, and although she didn't specifically tag me, she did tag anybody who wrote about Alito, which I did, and it's been weighing on my mind, so because I don't have any better way to spend my lunch hour because the blonde ate the other half of the Western Philly Cheese Steak sub I was saving for my lunch, here are Ten Views I Hold Without Evidence:

1. Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone.

2. Pepsi has substantial nutritional value.

3. If I'd joined the Navy when I was 22 and become a career officer, I'd be commanding a submarine right now.

4. All dogs go to heaven.

5. That girl behind the counter at the book store, the one who looks like Halle Berry, was flirting with me.

6. If Anton Chekhov and I had been alive at the same time and we met, we'd have been friends.

7. During the two years when we were apart, back when I was in grad school in Iowa and the blonde was down in Miami starting her career as a journalist, she was living a wild, wild, wild life and someday I will turn up the pictures to prove it and when this happens I won't be the least bit jealous or disappointed---Oh! And the reason I believe this has nothing to do with my own guilty conscience.

8. The Trojan War really happened. (In this case, I don't have enough evidence.)

9. If George Washington was alive today he'd be a Democrat and the Republicans would be calling him a traitor and other Democrats would be complaining that his habit of taking stands was bad politics and he was letting his ambitions get in the way of what was good for the Party.

10. Things will get better.


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