Monday, January 30, 2006

Happiness is appointing an extremist to the Supreme Court without having to worry about a filibuster

I just don't get it, Linus.

What's the matter, Charlie Brown?

I don't understand why a Democratic Senator who already opposes the extremist Supreme Court nominee of an unpopular President and is going to vote against him anyway would be hurting himself by supporting the filibustering of that extremist Supreme Court nominee.

That's easy, Charlie Brown. Samuel Alito is not an extremist.

But all his past writings, his opinions, the entire course of his career show he's a man devoted to taking away rights from regular people and giving more power to the forces of authoritarianism. That sounds like an extremist to me.

Sounds like my sister Lucy to me.

Remind me to tell him no way if Judge Alito offers to hold a football for me to kick. But isn't the judge an extremist?

Of course not, Charlie Brown. An extremist would not have appeared at his televised hearings smiling and looking like a reasonable guy. He would have turned all red in the face at every question, fire would have come out of his nostrils, and his head would have spun completely around on his neck. He would have told the Senators when they asked him that he not only wanted to overturn Roe v. Wade, he wanted to have all women of childbearing years forcibly impregnated by their husbands and overlords. And the wife of a real extremist wouldn't have broken down in tears when a big mean old Liberal caught her husband in a lie and called him on it.

But what about President Bush? He is unpopular, isn't he?

He can't be unpopular. He's a wartime President. All wartime Presidents are popular.

But the polls...

The polls count everybody. But the only people who matter, really, are his Republican base. They love him.

So even if his approval ratings fall below 40 percent again he'll still be a popular President if his base loves him?

I'm afraid so.

But what about the Democratic base? Won't they be upset if their Senators don't oppose Alito?

The Democratic base doesn't count. The Democratic base are a bunch of overly sensitive, smug, out of touch, metrosexuals and girly men. They aren't real Americans.

Oh. So the Democratic Senators should never do anything to make their base happy because that would offend real Americans?

Sure, Charlie Brown. It's much more important that a Democratic Senator win one conservative vote than three Liberal ones. Besides, who are those three Liberals going to vote for anyway?

What if they stay home on election day because they are tired of being taken for granted and sick of their Senators never doing anything that they want them to do.

Then they are just being big babies, and that proves that they aren't real Americans. Real Americans don't pout, Charlie Brown.

But what about all those Democrats who plan to vote against Judge Alito but won't support the filibuster? If you're voting against him, doesn't that mean you don't want him to be on the Supreme Court? And if you don't want him on the Supreme Court, shouldn't you do what you can to stop him from being appointed? Shouldn't you stand up and fight for your principles?

Only Republicans have principles, Charlie Brown. The Democrats are controlled by their special interests. Whenever a Democrat takes a supposedly principled stand, he's really just kowtowing to his special interests.

So you're saying that whenever a Democrat stands up for what he believes in, he's really being weak?


So it's better when a Democrat just surrenders and lets the Republicans do whatever they want?

That's what conventional wisdom is all about, Charlie Brown.


Well, it's like the Preacher says.

You're about to smugly quote a verse from the Bible again, aren't you?

"The race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, nor bread to the wise, nor riches to the intelligent, nor favor to the men of skill."

I can't stand it. I just can't stand it.

Cross-posted at The American Street.


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